No. of Recommendations: 74
Dear Manzanilla's kids



In deference to your mother's perfectly reasonable wishes

nb simsqu et al don't bother to reply to this!

I have held off wading in until her courgette thread has run it's course. As this seems to be the case, I'm going to have my say, and I shall attempt for the first and last time on the subject, to be constructive, by giving you a bit of advice as to how to handle your mother on this sensitive issue of the courgette.

I've read this thread through clenched eyes and heaving gizzard. And can I just say to you guys

you hang in their kids, there's some of us rooting for you!

A lot of the posts have suggested disguising the courgette in dishes, which in my book is a perfectly reasonable, though doomed, persuit.

I think one or two referred to the fact that the courgette is not very strongly flavoured, and hence relatively unobjectionable. The former is true, the latter is not.

Trying to throw some light onto why you kids don't like courgettes, I'll tell you why I don't. Apart from my own personal well-documented courgette hell, I suspect the reason that some people, including you, don't like them is the


The courgette has the ability to absorb liquids in a very specific way, turning courgette slices, strips, gratings, however you cut them, into a slightly stringy, spongy, slimy substance that, on being chewed, gives up it's reserved liquid into the victim's mouth, causing an overwhelming vomit-inducing miasma to grip said victim, leading to disgust, nervous hysteria, projectile vomiting, catatonia, dementia, and eventually a lingering and painful death.

Okay kids, I've exaggerated a bit, but you get the picture.

So, what advice can I give you? Assuming you are good kids, and want to please your mother, then go for a compromise. If you've made enough fuss up to now, believe me, she'll take any compromise she can get.

So here's what you do:

1) Tell her you will only contemplate eating courgettes that are under 2/3 inch thick, and under five inches long. That way, because they will be younger and the flesh will be well packed and moist, you are going to minimise any tendency of the courgette to become too fibrous and spongy, and hence have the ability to soak up Lake Baikal given half a chance.

2) Tell her you will only attempt a courgette mouth penetration if she follows the following strict rules:

(I can't believe I am actually giving a courgette recipe)

This is actually pretty similar to other suggestions, but with added obsessiveness

- Slice the courgette lengthways into four, and then once across, giving eight 'batons' (for want of a better word). It is extremely important that there is skin on every baton. You do not want to be dealing with the inside of the courgette without a healthy bit of skin to maintain it's integrity. That way madness lies.

- Dip them in beaten egg

- Dredge them in seasoned flour

- Alternatively, if your mother is up to it, make a tempura batter for them

- Either way, then fry them in very hot oil for a few seconds until they are golden and crispy on the outside

- Drain on kitchen paper.

- Allow to cool for approx three seconds, or until you can just about get them in your mouth without peeling the skin off the roof of your mouth.

- Hold nose and eat a couple. When you mother's not looking, stuff the rest behind the radiator, toaster, so similar handy kitchen appliance.

Give your mother a triumphant beam, and tell her you have fulfilled your part of the bargain, and where’s the ipod you promised?
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