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Subject:  Re: Poll: Should we pull out of the Euro(vision) Date:  28/05/2012  22:12
Author:  CasperCCC Number:  67584 of 80440
Because we'll never win again?

I have no proof, not even a suggestion of some, but I strongly suspect that Tony Blair's interventionist foreign policy might be why we never get any points anymore.

Brits are weird. And weirdly egotistical.

We wheel out a superannuated crooner who can't even get a hit in his own country - who's a running joke in his own country, even - and give him a tuneless, forgettable bit of nonsense. And when we don't stroll to victory, we assume that it's not because we put forward a pile of absolute pony, but instead that it's because of a Europe-wide vendetta against Tony Blair. Really? Do you really think that people care that much about us? Is it an Empire hangover? We assume that we're at the centre of the world and that win or lose, it's all got to be about us?

There's a simpler explanation for why we did so badly. Listen to the song. It's absolutely awful. Of course we were never going to win.

(It's similar when it comes to the 'fixed' votes. They're telephone votes now, aren't they? That's a pretty massive fix for a pretty trivial competition. Perhaps neighbouring countries might vote for each other because of shared cultural references and similar musical backgrounds? I bet that Brits are more likely to vote for an Irish entry than a Slovenian one, for example.)

There's 42 songs. On the law of averages, we should win once every 42 years. If we're going to put forward songs like this one then we should probably be winning once every 84 years. Or maybe 168.

I quite like Eurovision - it's silly fun. But when the whole country sees it as silly fun, how well do we expect to do? It's like entering Eddie the Eagle for the 100m Olympic final, having a chuckle at how awful he is, but then getting a bit peeved when he's beaten by Usain Bolt.
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